February 24, 2013

How to Talk to Strangers

I debated writing this post or not, but concluded I should.

I went for a run today and decided to go explore a new (to me) section of town. I decided to run as far as 30 minutes would get me and then cool down by walking to enjoy being out side. During my run, someone in a white car did a simple honk and wave. I didn't know them, but whatever, I'm from a place where you wave to strangers - so I waved back. Later, I'm running along and someone else just waves at me from their car. "Oh, hey, I don't know you, but I'm a waver," I think, so I wave back at them. 

After finishing my run, I walk around downtown (where my run has taken me) and then head back home. When I'm not far from my house, a man parks his car on an adjacent street gets out and walks over to me. I am taken aback to say the least. 

He says, "Hey, do you need a ride?" [Red Flag! #1]

"No, thank you! I'm just exercising. I'm fine, sir,"

"You sure? I am just trying to meet a friend to practice my English with..."

"Oh, that's great. The library has a great Spanish-English conversation class, where you could practice with other people."

"Oh, I am already in school [points in some direction] and trying to get my GED."

"That is great."

I should say here that I kept a solid 4 foot distance between us. He didn't step closer to me and he kept his distance. 

"Where do you live?" [Red Flag #2]

"Oh, around...not too far."

"I live on [nearby] street."

"Oh, great!"

"I'm not going to do anything. I just want to make a friend."

Then it dawns on me that I had seen him driving around...and he was the one who had honked at me and then later waved at me. And I realized that he had followed me.

"Did I see you around...earlier when I was running?"

"Yeah, maybe two times." [Red Flag #3 - Dude, strike 3 you are SO out.]

"Okay, I need to get going."

"You are very pretty. You have beautiful eyes." [Red Flag #4]

"Thank you. Have a nice day."

"I'm Jose."

"I'm Katie."

He extends his hand for me to shake...and I do. He walks back to his car and I walk back to my house. I keep looking over my shoulder wondering if he's going to follow me back to my house. I don't see his car come this way. Did I mention this took place in broad day-light? On a main road in town? 

I hate that my first thought after that encounter is that I'm too nice or I'm too naive or I'm too unsuspecting. I hate that I smile and make eye-contact with strangers. I hate that when I went to the store tonight, after this experience, I was afraid to make friendly eye contact with a stranger. I hate that I feel lucky. I hate that I don't know what the true intentions of that man were. I hate that I couldn't be more frank with a stranger. I hate that I imagined the worst of him. 

After most situations, you walk away with more clarity than you had in the moment. I do anyway. I had all sorts of curt/frank remarks after the fact, but I also wonder if those curt responses would have incited him to anger or aggression. "Sir, it makes me uncomfortable when you compliment me." or "I don't feel comfortable sharing that. I'm sorry, sir." or "My name is [insert FAKE name here]." Instead I was overly polite and we both walked away.  

I'm frustrated that I need to re-analyze where I run. I'm not at BC anymore, where I can just run around hilly-nilly and smile and wave at whoever I want. However, it's not as if I ran through a really rough part of town. I was BLOCKS from my house, which is where most abductions and assaults of that nature take place. Now, I just feel paranoid. I already don't run at night, because it's so cold here. The weather was sunny and perfect for a run. I guess I'll stick to my usual route from now on... 

February 21, 2013

Come and Go

Trusting the ebb and flow of the changing tide. 

Santa Monica Beach, CA

2013 Trips & Miles
Total Miles Traveled: 9,664
Miles by Car: 3,346
Miles by Plane: 6,318
Plane Trips: 7

February 18, 2013

Each day a different adventure

Just a little pictorial update of mileage and trips so far. 
Heading out this afternoon on another adventure! 

“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.” 
― Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

2013 Trips & Miles
Total Miles Traveled: 6174
Miles by Car: 3346
Miles by Plane: 2828
Plane Trips: 5

February 1, 2013

Are you an Extrovert or Introvert?

Newsflash: I'm an Extrovert!
I know, it's big news, isn't it? Honestly, I don't think it's something that I've ever really noticed or acknowledged about myself. I enjoy people, but I never feel like the life of the party. I love talking with people, but often do more listening. But then the more I think about...I hate being alone. Life is better with people...pretty much ALWAYS. I am expressive and sometimes loud. I believe "Life is only real when shared." 

Whether, I really was an introvert or an extrovert didn't really matter until I came to live and interact with a few introverts all the time. I learned that I don't take very good care of introverts, unbeknownst to me. Honestly, the only reason that it was brought to my attention is that Housemate Rachel pointed out a pin on pinterest called "How to Care for an Introvert" and she said that I didn't do very many of those listed for her. "What? You're an introvert?" 

There are ALL sorts of things on the internet about introversion and how to take care of introverts. (Probably because being on the internet is kind of their thing, right?) Below are two graphs, that might help some people (like myself apparently) better understand introversion. This one was created for interacting with your children or campers, but it could apply to your interaction with introverted peers.

Via DigitalMomBlog
  • Energized by time alone
  • Private
  • Keeps to self
  • Deliberate
  • Internally aware
  • Independent 
  • Not socially inclined
  • Enjoys solitude
Via DigitalMomBlog
  • Talkative
  • Enjoys social interaction and groups
  • Energized by interaction 
  • Expressive and enthusiastic 
  • Distractable 
  • Assertive 
In The Offices, we take a Working Styles Profile (from Gilmore & Fraleigh) to find out how we work in group settings. I am Accomadting/Harmonizing. Or YELLOW. Super yellow. That means I want harmony in the group and accommodate to make it happen. I am an outgoing person who wants everyone to be happy. :) I think taking an introversion/extroversion personality profile would be helpful for people living in community together.

Psychology Today has a questionnaire about introversion, extroversion and ambiversion. Uh, yes. Ambiversion. What a fun word! 

So, what are YOU? 
Are you an introvert, an extrovert, or an ambivert?

Blessings on you and your personality,